My final weight

Drumroll please. As of this morning I weighed 340 lbs. That is a whopping 8 lb loss in the 10 day period without doing anything more special than eating normally and skating a little bit. Feeling pretty good.

The last day……

Well, folks, today is day 10. It is not without regret that I say that. I am sorry I didn’t update every single day but who seriously wants to read about my every meal for a 10 day period. That’s a little narcissistic. I will say this. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it was. I learned that you can eat healthy. Yes it is expensive but I am sure that the money that I saved not going to Mickey D’s and Jack in the Crack about adds up. I also learned that just because you are eating healthy doesn’t mean you have license to eat all day, everyday. While I still lost weight, I probably could have lost more if I exercised a little self-control and exercised period. I did skate while doing this  but you really should get more exercise than just two or three times a week. I will post my final weight tomorrow since today still counts. I learned that it really is a combined effort. My husband was just not with it and it’s hard for me to deny the kids something that he will allow them to eat. So my new philosophy is when they are with me it’s healthy, when they are with their dad, I turn a blind eye. If he wants to kill himself, that’s his perrogative. Hey, we have a life insurance policy.

Will I go back to eating like I used to. Probably not. I have approximately 171 lbs to lose and something’s gotta give. Unfortunately, that something is me. I wish that six or seven months of eating healthy and exercising could knock out all this extra weight I am carrying but it’s just not true. I have struggled with my weight all my life, it didn’t take only a few months to put it on so I know it won’t take a few months to lose it, and this will probably be my battle for the rest of my life. Why couldn’t I have been born thin but kind of stupid?

I wish I could say that I have some meal that I am just itching to eat but in reality I don’t. I feel really proud of myself. I don’t want to screw it up.

As for the blog, I am going to pop in from time to time, probably put some recipes that I have tried out and found to be worthwhile, my weight struggles, and whatever else strikes my fancy.

Day 4 and 5 Recap

Day 4: Stayed up late the night before preparing for Day four. I was making Oatcakes for breakfast and an Eggplant Lasagna for lunch. The oatcakes had cooked steel cut oats in them so I cooked them the night before and I also sliced the eggplant. I shredded up some zucchini to make Zucchini Bread but I have yet to make it. The Oatcakes were tasty but a lot different to cook from the regular pancakes I am used to making. The kids enjoyed them. I had some leftover batter so I saved it for the following day. I got the recipe from a cookbook that was given to me at one of my WIC appointments.

The eggplant lasagna was so good. Better than I expected. That recipe also came from the WIC cookbook. I thought for sure my sons would like it, and when I gave them a spoonful of it they seemed to enjoy it, but when I actually put it in their bowls to eat they weren’t having it. They would not eat the eggplant. They are really making this whole process discouraging for me. No matter how much I plead, threaten, they just won’t eat some of the stuff I make. I don’t know what to do.

Dinner was a carrot and sweet potato beef stew. I got that recipe from a Biggest Loser Cookbook my sister sent to me. I was surprised at how well it turned out, especially the beef. Very tender. I don’t think Mr. Sawyers shared my sentiments, however, because he was not very enthusiastic about eating it.  He also didn’t want any of the lasagna. I had to beg him to taste it and while he admitted it tasted good, he didn’t want any of it. I think my husband’s problem is that he just can’t wrap his mind around what it is he is eating, no matter how good it tastes.

I went skating with some friends and my husband took the kids to the drive-in. God only knows what they ate there. Afterward, me and my girls went to Denny’s. I have only been out to eat on other time besides this and then I ordered a salad. I wanted something different. I chose the T-bone steak and eggs. It was pretty good but weird not putting any steak sauce or ketchup on my food.

I am chugging along, trying to remain faithful. I know it’s doable. I just wish I had more of a collective effort in the house. It makes it that much harder when I feel like I am pulling everyone along instead of them walking alongside me.

Day 5: Down 7 lbs. I can’t believe it. And that is with hardly any exercise. I am ecstatic. We had a late breakfast, leftover oatcakes from yesterday. For lunch, leftover beef stew. Today was a strange day, though, because I just couldn’t get motivated to do anything around my house. I was a little bummed out today I think. I tried to bake some jicama chips but that was a colossal failure. I just couldn’t get it right. I think it would be better to shallow fry them. I am going to have to experiment with that.

We have a church service on Wednesday and my husband goes to school Wednesday nights too so the evening is a busy one for me. I didn’t make dinner because we had a lot of stew left over and I figured if my husband got hungry, he could just eat that. Before I went to church I stopped at Henry’s to grab a few items. Organic Grade A Maple Syrup, Organic whipping cream, Medjool dates (more brownies), and almond butter. The tally? $30. Crazy right?

After service we decide to go to Denny’s with some friends (Deja Vu) and I order the steak and bleu cheese salad with no dressing for myself and bacon and scrambled eggs with wheat toast for my sons. My husband orders some ungodly syrupy mess. GRRRRRR………. The twins start to beg me for my friend’s pancake puppies and when I say no they start to whine so I spread some honey on their toast and give it to them. Demetrius loved it but Darius wasn’t so convinced.

I came home, made myself some brownies and started to type. I am tired and feeling like I am at the rubber meeting the road stage of this endeavor. The novelty has officially wore off. I love feeling like I am being responsible with my health but I’m not sure. Maybe I expected some drastic difference. I, for the most part, feel the same. I think I wouldn’t feel so melancholy if my sons weren’t such picky eaters when it comes to healthy foods. If I was serving them pizza, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, potato chips they would be scarfing it down by the plateful. Why are four-year-olds so frustrating? 5 more days to go……….

Days 2 and 3 recap

Day 2, Sunday: Sunday is a very busy day for us because we primarily spend most of it in church. For breakfast I need something quick because we rarely wake up at a time that allows us to really sit down and eat. I decided to make french toast with whip cream and fresh fruit and bacon. It was quick and the kids scarfed it down with no problems. Even Mr. Sawyers liked it. I also put a London Broil steak in the crock pot for when we got home from service. I seasoned it with all-natural beef broth, seasonings, and balsamic vinegar.

I must not have eaten enough at breakfast because when I got to church I was still hungry. A quick stop in the snack bar revealed that I was just going to have to let my stomach roar because there was NOTHING in there on the approved list. When we got home, the house was filled with the aroma of cooked beef. YUM! But I really didn’t have a plan for side dishes. What to do? I had a yam that I hadn’t gotten around to using and thought some sweet potato baked “fries” would be perfect. I looked for the recipe in the cookbook I got from WIC and began to prepare them but the darn things weren’t going to be ready for another 30 minutes! By this time I am feeling faint so I eat some Triscuits with guacamole while I wait for the fries to cook. I think I gave the kids a banana or something like that. Mr Sawyers just couldn’t wait to eat so he made himself a sandwich with some of the steak. I told him to use the mayo that I made but he claims he couldn’t find it and ate the store bought one. I can see I am going to have to resort to more drastic measures with him……….

 Anyhoo, the timer went off on the fries and by this time I can’t wait to eat. Guess what? They were burnt!!!!!! I mean ragin’ cajun! What the heck? Some were salvagable enough to consume but the rest were only fit to line the trash can. That left me feeling pretty dejected. On a positive note the meat was very good. I am usually at a loss as to how to prepare red meat (except for ground beef) because we didn’t eat it growing up. My husband made himself a fruit and yogurt parfait in a wine glass and he enjoyed it. We took our afternoon power naps and got ready for evening service.

Dinner was trickier. I was going out with some friends after evening service. I have to get some time away from this house in order to avoid the possibility of me snapping and winding up on the 10 o’ clock news. This would be my first time going out to eat since I started this. My husband was going home with the kids and I figured he should be ok. They can have fruit, there’s lunch meat in the fridge, there’s some leftover steak. But to my dismay I found a receipt for a local mexican restaurant on the ironing board. HE BROKE THE RULES AND INVOLVED MY CHILDREN IN HIS SHAMEFUL CONDUCT!!!!!!!!!!! OH THE HORROR! I thought we were in this together 😦 Mr. Sawyers is just not convinced yet. As for me, I got to the restaurant and realized the only “approved” thing on the menu was, you guessed it, a SALAD! So I ordered a small one with no dressing, just some olive oil on the side. Actually it was so good, I got another one. I only had water to drink. So many of my friends were wondering why I wasn’t eating. One even told me that she knew I was hungry having only eaten a salad. And, while I was keeping myself calm on the outside, I was salivating on the inside for some of the pizza. Then someone ordered a cheesecake and it took all the forbearance within me not to attack them and wrestle it from their hands and just lay out on the table smashing it all over my face. And I don’t even like cheesecake!

So what are my feelings? Day two was easier but I still have some kinks to iron out and I have to figure out a way to beat Mr. Sawyers into submission, GRRRRRR………

Day 3, Monday: I get on the scale, as I do every morning and I am three pounds lighter. The only exercise I have had was my skate lesson. That felt pretty good. For the twins’ breakfast I fixed them yogurt with honey, blueberries, strawberries and cashews. They absolutely would not eat the cashews or the blueberries and made a colossal mess flinging yogurt on themselves and the table as they picked out the strawberries. I really need to sit down at the table and eat with them.  I usually like to use the time that they are eating to do other things but they just see that as a green light to go ballistic with their food. And I HATE it when they waste food.

 For myself I had, for the first time, a canary melon. O.M.G. It was so good. So sweet. I saw it in the store and said “What the hey? I’ll give it a whirl.” It had such a mild sweet flavor. I also made a brownie recipe that I found on the internet. The ingredients are walnuts, medjool dates, salt, and cocoa powder. When I first saw it I was skeptical. How can all those ingredients come together to taste like something that even remotely resembles a brownie? Boy was I wrong! They were a chocolate lovers delight! I loved them. It’s so nice to find a guilt free dessert that doesn’t taste like cardboard.

So now it’s time for lunch. No big deal right? I had no idea what to make. I have a fridge full of groceries and I was absolutely clueless what to prepare for them. Which leads me to the conclusion that I need to actually plan what we eat for the day in advance, at least until this becomes second nature. Great, something else to add to my already overloaded repertoire. I just ended up making a Caprese salad for myself, which the twins wouldn’t touch (more for me!), and I made them Triscuits with cheddar cheese and roast beef (getting a lot of mileage out of those crackers). They also had some red grapes.

 For dinner I made baked honey mustard chicken legs. I was going to cook some brown rice but the chicken was almost done and, I didn’t realize this, but the rice takes almost an hour to make! What to do? Think fast. I remembered a recipe from the Food Illusion blog. It was buttermilk whole wheat cheese biscuits. They cooked up quick and tasted delish. I also boiled some broccoli. My sons will actually eat broccoli because they say it looks like trees.

 My friend stopped by to drop something off and try a brownie. She couldn’t stop raving about them. She has been eating “real food” for the past four months so she is my cheeleader. There are so many recipes out there and so much info on the subject that sometimes it can be overwhelming, it’s nice to have a frined to turn to and bounce ideas off of.

My conclusion: What I like? I feel more responsible, like I am taking charge of my and my family’s health. I am learning to really cook. I am doing something that will ultimately change me for the better. What I don’t like? The time it takes to prep the food. I am usually chopping vegetables to the tune of my daughter screaming in the background. It’s so aggravating. I actually have to use brain cells I would rather focus on other things to focus on food and what we are going to eat. I know that this will pass, that it is still so very new to me and will, eventually, become second nature, but right now it’s a pain in the patootie. I really don’t like my cooking “flops”. Up until this point, I thought I was a pretty good cook. I am having to go back and relearn somethings.

I shall remain stalwart. I am not going to quit. I am going to use the bumps in the road as markers to learn from. I just hope that I can keep this up after the ten days is over with………..

Day One Recap

Well, the first day was…….discouraging at best. This is DEFINITELY a different experience for me. As I have mentioned earlier, I have roller skating lessons on Saturday mornings. Normally my sons come with me but we had a late Friday night so I decided to let them sleep in and go solo. I wanted some fuel in my tank before I left so I fixed myself an almond butter and fruit spread sandwich. I also prepared the waffle batter to be ready for my husband to make breakfast when everyone else awoke.

As I was preparing the batter, my son woke up, rubbed the sleep from his eyes and informed me that it was time for our skating lesson. Dang! I didn’t know they actually looked forward to it. They are always so scared on their skates but I guess they like it. Anyway, I now have to switch gears, get myself and them ready, and fix them something to eat. I made them the same type of sandwich I was eating and some fruit. I wanted to give it another try, see if they would be more responsive to the sandwich this time. Negative. They ate the fruit and used the sandwiches to bludgeon each other. Fail #1.

We go to our lesson. Skating was great. I am really seeing progress and I worked up quite a sweat and an appetite. So now it’s time to eat. I come home and ask my husband how the waffles were. He said they tasted like “healthy waffles”. He also said he burned the first two before the waffle iron we have is new and we don’t really know how to use it. So now it’s my turn. Should be easier for me right? Wrong. I forgot to spray the iron with cooking spray first and poured the batter on it. Bad idea. I was scraping the waffle onto my plate. Fail #2. The whip cream turned out well and I just ate the scraps with the cream and maple syrup and berries. It was very good.

Lunch was another matter. My husband took my sons to get a hair cut and some new shoes. I shudder to think what he to them to eat while they were out because he wouldn’t tell me. That is another frustration. Mr. Sawyers is not completely on board with this so I feel like I am doing it by myself. Not to thrilled with that. I stayed home and decided on a BLT. I love mayo, so imagine my dismay when I read the ingredients on the “healthy mayo” I had and found it to be unacceptable. So I get this brilliant idea to make my own mayonnaise. Fail #3. I wasted almost a dozen eggs and over a cup of olive oil on my first try. I was so disheartened. I finally got the hang of it and it was very good. So was the BLT. for dinner the kids had an apple, Triscuits, and fresh guacamole. I went to the store, spent more money on food, and came home.

All in all, a VERY challenging day. I hope I can stick with this for 10 days, let alone change my lifestyle. My house is a mess, I have spent more time in the kitchen than I care for and washed more dishes than I like to think about. I am going to have to borrow a mantra from recovery, one day at a time, one day at a time.

Get ready to start your engines

Well, folks, today’s the day. I’m starting the “challenge“. After spending an ungodly amount of money at the grocery store yesterday, I think I have all the tools I need to begin this journey. Actually, that was part of my plan. I figured when I tell my husband the price of all this stuff, he’ll be in such a state of shock that he won’t even know what he’s eating for the next ten days. I am planning to post my weight at the beginning of this and then post what I weigh towards the end. I will also post if I do any exercise during the time so that if I lose a considerable amount, it won’t all be attributed to the eating.

We already hit a rough patch with giving something different to my kids. Yesterday, after my trip to the store, the kids were hungry. They hadn’t had much to eat that day so actually they should have been more like starving. They love fruit and they were clamoring for all the grapes and strawberries. I decided to fix them an almond butter and Crofter’s fruit spread sandwich on whole grain bread I got from the store that was acceptable (only a few ingredients, no corn syrup or sugar in it). First of all, the almond butter is amazing. I can tell I am going to have to fight myself not to eat it all the time. I like it more than peanut butter. Anyhow, I fix my self a sandwich and make them half a sandwich with a handful of grapes. I’m thinking “No problem, this should go over fine.” No such luck. They ate all the grapes and wouldn’t even try the sandwich. We were able to coax/cajole/threaten one twin into eating most of it, although he would not eat the crust, but the other one was perfectly content to sit at the table and just stare at his. He only took one tiny microscopic bite before declaring it a no-winner. Now, I will say, the bread was a little different to what we are used to. I can see why they call processed foods processed foods. Because what they don’t process in the factory, you process in your mouth! I felt like I was working out just chewing the bread. It was soft, don’t get me wrong, but my jaws were hurting. I am thinking that might be what turned them off to the sandwich because the almond butter and fruit spread was divine. I will say that the sandwich was filling. One was enough to fill me up for a while. I guess I am just going to have to keep giving it to them and eventually they’ll get so hungry that human nature will take over and they’ll eat it.

So I am planning on making homemade whole-wheat waffles today for breakfast on my brand-new waffle iron (yay!) and whip cream sweetened with honey. I am also going to put some berries and maple syrup on it. It should be something the kids will enjoy. I don’t know about Mr. Sawyers. I have a roller skating lesson to go to and then I get to come home a plan lunch. I still have no clue what to make. This all feels so uncertain. I never really have to think about what to make, I usually just grab something and fix it. This feels so foreign. But, as the well known philosophist Martin Payne would say “Ain’t nothin’ to it but to do it!”

So, yeah, here goes my weight. I tried to sneak out without telling it to you. It’s *coughing* 348lbs *cough, cough*.

So I didn’t go shopping……..

I regret to inform you that I did not go grocery shopping yesterday. In fact, I had probably one of the worst eating days that I’ve had in about two weeks. I think I know the end is near…….

Anyhoo, I will be going shopping today. I am beginning to hear crickets in my refrigerator and that means it’s time to stock up. The good news is I didn’t have much food to begin with since it was coming around to being time for me to get groceries so I didn’t have much to throw out. A strange thing happens to me when I see money that I’ve spent in the trash. I get all woozy.

I am going to be researching some recipes today. Gotta have a game plan I guess. I don’t want to just buy a bunch of stuff and then go “Now what?”. I hate planning though. I am such a spontaneous person and I’d rather get a root canal than sit down and plan a menu for the ten days and find recipes and write down ingredients to buy. It all seems so, I don’t kow, tedious. I would rather be knitting or playing family feud on Facebook. But I digress.

I am not so much concerned about the children and I during the day. My daughter is breastfed and I don’t really cook for my sons when we are home. They ususally eat things like cereal, yogurt, fruit, PB&J sandwiches. On the rare occasions that I make breakfast we’ll have pancakes, made from scratch, sausage and eggs. I may have to make a few tweaks to what we consume during the day but not much. It’s dinner that I am worried about. That and Mr. Sawyers.

Ah, Mr. Sawyers. My darling husband. A man who once said that his idea of a salad is lettuce on his burgers. And he wasn’t kidding. He hardly ever eats vegetables. He loves fast food. He loves sweets. Oddly enough he is significantly thinner than me and actually weighs LESS than he did when we got married 6 years ago. Is this some kind of cosmic joke? I used to make vegetables when we first got married but I got tired of throwing an almost entirely full pot in the trash (the woozy thing again) when he wouldn’t eat them. So I just stopped making them. He is your quintessential “meat and potatoes” type of guy. When I told him about the challenge he said “That’s great, you’re doing it right?” I had to practically debase myself to get him to climb aboard with me (remeber the whole “two shall become one flesh thing”. Ring a bell?)

Another thing to call into consideration is we are African American. What does that have to do with anything, you ask? Everything. Let’s do a little experiment. What kind of people come to your mind when you think of people talking about “eating healthy”, “all natural foods”, and “no processed foods”? Usually white, upper middle class families with 2.5 kids in the burbs that drive hybrids. Either that or like long haired hippies who keep their pee in jars for their gardens……..whatever. What I’m trying to say is that you usually don’t associate healthy eating with the African American community. Our idea of a healthy meal is a fried chicken breast instead of a fried chicken wing. And because of this, we, as a people, are paying dearly.

My husband took a health class and the statistics were astounding for African Americans. We have the highest obesity rates (guilty), the highest mortality rates, we live less, we eat more, exercise less, we have the highest instance of diabetes, heart disease, stroke and we only make up 13% of the population. When my husband took the class, he began to really become gung ho about his health, started going to the gym more regularly, eating healthier. But this was right before the dreaded holidays, every dieter’s nightmare. I told him not to go crazy because it will make it that much harder for him to get back on the wagon but did he heed the advice of the wise, old, fat sage? No, and now he is back where he started, eating like crap. Maybe this challenge with show us that eating right is not only doable, but no that bad.

I mean there are still things I am leery about. We are no millionares and no matter how you slice it, the less processed the food, the more expensive. The process is what makes it so cheap. We live on one income, a very modest one at that, in a small, one-bedroom apartment in San Diego. Expensive-behind San Diego. We drive a 14-year-old Ford Thunderbird that was lovingly given to us by some dear friends at our church because we didn’t have a car for almost a year . And I wish I could say we had no car because we were trying to “go green”. We had no car because we couldn’t afford one. So shucking out extra money on groceries is no novel concept to me. But as a wise person once said to me, you either pay for it now in grocery bills, or you pay for it later in medical bills and/or funeral costs. Personally, I’d rather buy the $4 bread.

Well, I have rambled long enough. I am supposed to be mapping out my game plan, not rambling on WordPress. I will report the staggering cost later. Until then.

The pros and cons

I am deciding to comprise a list of the good, the bad and the ugly. What I am dreading about this challenge and what I am looking forward to (is there anything?). So here goes:

The Pros:

Increased health

Lower Calorie Intake

Weight loss

Less harmful substances in my body

Ummmmm, yeah, that about sums it up for me……Can’t really think of anything else at this point……

The Cons:

NO SUGAR: I have and insatiable sweet tooth. Sugar is one of the things that keeps me from being suicidal and/or homicidal. I and countless others are alive today because I was able to get my hands on a pint of ice cream at just the right moment. What will I do without all of that sugary goodness???????

NO FAST FOOD: I am a drive thru regular. As I write this I am literally eating a spicy chicken sandwich, fries and a shake from Rally’s. I can’t imagine my life with out Taco Bell, Mickey D’s, and Jack in the Crack. Maybe that’s part of the problem…….

I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE TO COOK: What a novelty! I will actually have to prepare meals. I love to bake but I HATE to cook. I think it’s because it makes such a mess and 9.5 times out of 10 I am the one cleaning it up.

VERY FEW “QUICK FIX” OPTIONS: For those of us with kids I am sure you can relate to this. Sometimes you just don’t have the time to make a meal. You want to be able to just grab something, shove it in their mouths and keep it moving. I am really going to have to plan what we eat.

CHANGING MY SHOPPING: I don’t know about you, but I HATE grocery shopping. The long lines, the bags, just the thought of it makes me shudder. And now I am going to have to actually pay attention to what I buy, not just grab things and toss them in my cart in a shopping induced stupor.

That’s all for now folks, it’s past midnight and I have a handsome man to go cuddle up next to. More to come tomorrow as I share a little more about myself and all the chips stacked against me and as I go on my first shopping trip (eek) to start buying “real food”.